Who are you meant to be? Who do you want to be?

"What do you enjoy studying? What's your real interest? What do you want to do after graduating from university?" I guess I thought about those questions thousands times before applying university four years ago.
"Nothing really. Not too much. It depends." I probably heard that voice from bottom of my heart. But, I did not follow it. I chose my specialization and my university as everyone recommends, or anticipates.
There you go, University of Toronto(UT).
Freshman Year
I had no idea what university life was all about. I came to all classes but never brought slides or any study materials; physically sitting there, but never thinking about anything I should know. I enrolled in all kinds of "bird courses" but kind of failed almost all of them. Why? They were not bird courses to me! It only confused me even more when I took two consecutive astronomy courses. When I realized that, it was already the final exam period, I was so rush in every course and kind of frustrated. However, I knew that I was on the right track, at least I figured out something I did not want to carry on.
Sophomore Year
As I enrolled in more specialization courses, I started to see what I was actually learning. Making balance sheets, getting to know all kinds of bonds, stocks, and equities, investigating in different kinds of consumer behaviors and reading economics news actually gave me a clearer future direction. Without doubt, there were courses that I was super interested in and courses I tried my best to ignore. But I clearly knew that there was not a chance to ignore each individual one. I started to learn to spread my time and energy rationally. That was one of the most important things I learnt in my university life-dedicating yourself to something you cannot avoid to do, you would benefit from it eventually.
Junior Year
I could not emphasize how important this year was to me. I got an opportunity to exchange to UK to broaden my global view and view this world from different perspectives. At the same time, I also learnt to force myself quickly suit back into the UT environment. I knew that should not be an excuse for not actively participate in all kinds of classes and activities. More professional courses came along, I started to imitate the real bond transactions via softwares, learn about industrial economy in very detailed way. However, I found I was not that interested in those one year ago, or I probably should say that I was never that interested in things I should do. I got confused again.
Senior Year
Last year was super busy, it was a fresh start of everything new. Preparing for GMAT test, finding all kinds of part-time jobs, involving in trading sessions or conferences have driven me crazy. Having four exams in 24 hours brought me back to high school. Once again, I found that instead of finance, my real interest probably is business. I questioned myself several times, is business my real interest or only an excuse for not being excellent in finance. Then I searched, made conversations with my mentors and found out that finance is just not my thing. With my background in finance, I probably could do better in business world during my pursuing of master degree. However, not so many people support me. My families believe that is my naive opinions, I should not be so rush in deciding my future path. Some of my friends believe that its just too risky to change the major at this time. But now I know, to follow your heart should be the top priority of everyone. People around you may give advise, respect them and their believes. Just do not forget, respect yourself is equally important.
"What do you enjoy studying? What's your real interest? What do you want to do after graduating from university?" I am so sorry that I still need more time to find out. But I guess life is all about this, keep finding any mysteries in front of us.
Who are you meant to be? I am still confused. Who do you want to be? Myself.

0 个评论